Time waits for no one. Can ten years fly like a stroke of lightning? Was it not yesterday I was disillusioned by what happened on August 16th, 2007? Was the pain not sharper than the sharpest razor blade ever manufactured? Didn’t I struggle to believe the saying that time will ease the emotional injury and eventually heal me? Wow! As I look back this month, I have no option but to thank God for where He has brought me and my loved ones from. If it had not been Him on our side all these years, where would we be? Time has indeed reduced the indescribable pain. May the name of the Lord be glorified for ever more.
Back in 2003, an unexpected phone call from my younger brother Osa woke me from deep slumber. He had bad news! His close friend in Nigeria had just called informing him our mother suffered a stroke – the right side of her body was paralyzed. A very cold chill raced down my spine as it dawned on me all her children resided outside the country. We were thousands of miles away. How was she going through this nightmare without anyone of us by her side? Tears became the order of the moment and stayed so till I broke the news to my younger sister Uyi who lived in the same city with me.
Trying to imagine our mother partially paralyzed was traumatizing. After all, I just saw a few months ago. She bubbled with so much life during her vacation with us in the U.S. I saw her off to the airport and stood there waving and watching her till she was out of sight. Little did I know I was watching my mother walking with her two legs unsupported for the last time. Such is life!
Preceding the advent of a stroke, my mother lived in the world of happiness she created for herself. We called it “her paradise.” She loved convenience and paid for it in an instant. She always had a staff for any and everything – a house help, a cook, driver, gardener and security or Gatemen like we call them. My mom did not need to lift a finger as everything was done for her.
Her love for God was immeasurable. I remember her gathering children in the neighborhood and wetting their fleeting appetites with cookies so that by the time the real food (the Word of God) came they had no choice but to participate. She also dedicated a room in our house to prayer. When we were young, my siblings and I used to dread being summoned into that room. We were known to spend at least one full hour in prayer with hunger pangs struggling to strip us of the little concentration we battled to maintain.
Entertaining people was something my mother did with a raw passion. Even if we had a visitor at midnight, she had a unique way of coming up with a dish with or without ingredients in the house. Her love for music went side by side with entertaining people. Back in the early seventies my mother connected loudspeakers from her bedroom all the way to the kitchen. How can I forget how the whole house woke up to classical music or hymns most mornings? As music had a permanent place in our house so did my mother’s love for art. From sculptures to paintings, she bought them like they were going out of fashion. Assorted flowers in her well kept garden was priceless for her. She talked to her plants every day and mourned even when the ugliest flower in the garden died.
One of us had to travel to Nigeria to be with our darling mother. Although the timing was bad for all us because coincidentally, we were all dealing with individual storms raging like mad dogs in our lives, my brother Osa, her only son and last child hopped on the next available flight.
Reality set in as Osa arrived in Lagos, Nigeria. Our mother was worse than we imagined. The original plan to get her taken care of till she was strong enough to travel to the U.S. a month or two later went out of the window. Osa had to bring her back with him. They left three weeks later on a flight with a stopover in London.
Uyi and I spent the morning preparing to receive our mother. I had a hard time mentally picturing what laid ahead. For one, I can’t stand seeing people sick or suffering. How was I going to stomach seeing my mother sick and helpless? I had no choice but to sweep my fears under the rug of fate and wait till I set my eyes on her. On the other hand, my sister was more than prepared. She loves caring for people and had once toyed with the idea of pursuing Nursing. She was mentally and physically ready to take on the challenge of looking after our mother.
I can never forget the moment we met our mum and Osa at the Arrivals area of the airport. We were so shocked to see our beloved mother! She was a far cry from the woman I saw off to the airport the last time she visited. Who would have imagined her next visit to the U.S. would be in a wheelchair? I was speechless, frozen with fear and in denial. Her size and exuberance had shrunk so much – she was half her size and so helpless. Her signature laughter that always announced her presence was nowhere to be found. She could hardly talk. I remained in a cocoon of shock the whole day. I just could not look at her in the face. How could I?
That night I got into bed with her. She was lying on her back and staring at the ceiling as if she was looking for answers to the many questions on her mind. She seemed to be glad to be around her children and grandchildren but I knew my mother was wrestling with the unfortunate trap her body was caught in. I laid besides her in total silence. Sleep was far from me because of how much I ached emotionally. I looked at her in the dark and noticed tears rolling down into her pillow. I was also weeping in silence until I summoned up strength and asked in a voice like I just woke up “Are you okay Mommy?” She whispered to me “I am fine my dear.”
The first few weeks were rough. We wore the cloak of patience, dedication and tolerance as we did everything under the sun for our mother. She was like a new baby in our helpless arms. I babysat her at night while my sister took care of her during the day. Although we were feeling burnt out because we didn’t know better plus the guilt of seeing her like that plagued us a great deal. Her visit to a particular doctor opened another chapter.
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